Tag Archives: inner work

winter solstice

Winter Solstice has arrived
on timid tender feet
Wednesday, December 21, 2016 at 2:44 am PST.
Find your still deep silent spot of being
Let it anchor you for the new year

Today is the day
In fact the next three days
the sun stands still
in the shifting and changing
Be with that stillness.
Come into the quiet place
Rest in the darkness
Surrender to the knowing
you are
at your very core


It’s not too lateScreenshot 2016-04-25 13.10.41
you not too old
too young
too stupid
too smart
too tall too small
too plain too tired too short
you just aint.
throw the excuses out the window
you are brilliantly you.
end of story.
end of all the stories.
beginning of you
brilliantly you possibilities
emerging as we speak

take the time

If you do nothing else today
take the timeIMG_4688
to love yourself.
for you are the center of your universe
and without that core of love
there is nothing to give to others.

every inch
every breath
every feature
the so-called good the bad the ugly
Don’t listen to what they say or said
don’t build your view
from others criticism or approval
see yourself from the eyes of love

raw and ragged
this moment
and the next
saturate your every cell

and witness your world as it awakens.

I have choice

Screenshot 2015-01-12 06.30.23everything changes
I go here, I go there
i do this, i do that
and through it all
there I am


it’s the same me.

I’m sure you’ve heard: you can move the girl out of the country,
but you can’t take the country out of the girl.

so true
about everything.

i am slowing challenging myself to live from the inside out.
such a tricky proposition to accept responsibility for my world;
o so freeing
and then, darn…
so much responsibility

I will take each moment lightly as it comes
and when I am able
hold the light of my own creation
with whatever joy I can muster,

and acknowledge

it is MY world I’m creating here.
I have choice.

simple breath simple tears

It is so simple. Breathing.
So constantly with me. My breath.
I breathe in. I feel the air fill my lungs.
That’s all I have to do today. really. And you know what? My breath just does it’s thing. I don’t even have to do that. I am being breathed as I be with myself.

Last night news of heartbreaking proportions. One I love, he has forgotten to love himself. I breathe. I feel that love that knows no boundaries or time. I know my job, if I so accept, is to be wholly with that love. This love knows no time. Allow it to fill me, I feel it pour out to him.
2014-11-21 16.10.40
It is so simple. Breathing.
So constantly with me. My breath.
I breathe in. I feel the air fill my lungs.
That’s all I have to do today. really. And you know what? My breath just does it’s thing. I don’t even have to do that. I am being breathed as I be with myself. I breathe, I breathe, I breathe,

Sometmes I feel my tears could fill oceans. But I know the ocean IS love and I allow that ocean to wash over any part of me that thinks I am less.

all is calm

sometimes it’s so moment to moment, this joy thing.

watch a funny video. happy
read a depressing email. sad
take a walk. glad
eat chocolate. double glad
get a bill. not so fun
a snide remark…

my goal today:
find my inner core.
… where the storm can swirl,2014-11-11 07.52.59
but like the eye of a hurricane,
all is calm in the center place.

I am breathing into center.
right now
all is calm.
all is right.
happy hanukkah.

Independence Day

Happy Independence Day to you.

Will you claim freedom today? How will you do that?  What path will you choose this day?  Will you make this day the day that you can look back and remember as the day you claimed your autonomy in some fashion? path wildfwers

What will you claim as yours today?

Today I claim freedom from negative self talk. I choose to love myself more fully. To notice when I’m getting down on me. Today I choose to talk to myself as a lover, a kind parent, a loving friend. I can be all that to me. Today I will go out of my way to cherish who I am. When I feel even slightly disconnected, I will love me. I realize I need to start there. Loving self. Otherwise there is no love to share with others. Continue reading

Dear Dad.

Screenshot 2014-03-17 08.38.38Cranston, Rhode Island. Green, green, green. Woke up with the feeling of oneness of love and gratitude. Ran down the bike path on one of the most beautiful days in Cranston RI. Squirrels, poison ivy, jewel weed, little purple flowers.

We are getting clearer about at least the short term goals here. Okay, here we go! and then, another Idea comes. Hmmm. Good days, bad days, in and out of sleeping in his chair. “I don’t sleep during the day!” He’s sleeping, yes, he is.

breathing in, I am alive, breathing out, I am releasing.

Moved my dad’s bed downstairs, and we checked out another ‘retirement community’. One step at a time.

Cleaning out drawers, cupboards, funky this and that. throwing out stuff and stuff and more stuff. 5 can openers? 25 spatulas? 472 shirts? Cans and cans, piles of out dated cans. Old pillows, chairs, rugs, in various states of deterioration. cans

My dad grew up during the depression. All things are sacred. The religion he follows is garage sale signs; his place of worship every Sunday, flea markets. (yes, I was a loyal follower too for years. I am a recovering garage sale-a holic). Now he is letting me throw stuff out, he is releasing, accepting. He is willing to face his situation. He is courageous and pragmatic in a New Yorker sort of way.

Yet again, and again, It’s just opening to guidance, taking the next obvious action, just one step after the other. Breathing each time I remember. Being honest about what’s up for me, love, worry, love, acceptance, love, fear, love, joy, anger, love,

might I always return to love.

The wind just came up. The sun’s going down.


Crazy Mama Nature


Dad’s not doing so well. I talk to him. I talk to my brother. I talk to him again. It’s a wait and see game of unknown rules. I’m so far away, I feel so powerless. Looking at the passage we all face some day. Not sure what’s up with Dad, could be soon, or 10 years from now. I choose to be present with myself and my own trembling mortality so I can be present for him to the best of my ability.

I go out into the wild. The hills hold court with my tenderness. As I enter into the trail at the end of the road, a little hummingbird come right up to this bush by my knee, ruby-throated hills behind houseand precious tiny. I climb, I walk, I run ever so little. I follow the trail to a hill I rarely climb.

At the top, I look out on the valley, the ocean, the hills. the clouds are so proud and still, the wind swept the sky, the white capped water, the islands are there in full force, visible, holding the ocean. What a moment.

The mustard has passed but new little yellow flower ignite the trail. I think, next time I’ll bring my phone and take pictures for you guys. It’s so beautiful up here. and it’s almost my back yard. How blessed is this mess I am today.

I have a tangerine in my pocket, I sit to eat it. There’s swarms of ants, big and little ones, all in a flurry, probably because this big ogre is sitting by their holes. I see them frantically going here and there-I know that feeling. A bigger ant starts hauling one of the seeds I have spit out. It’s hard. He stays with it for way longer than he might (-I know that feeling too), then gives up and walks over his seed-mountain, he’s checking it out, searching for something…what? I haven’t a clue. it is literally 10xs bigger than him; how does he even attempt to do that?

I look up to the sky again, there are three hawks circling and one buzzard, they are gracefully playing in the wind that I feel on my face. Perhaps they are waiting for me to die. Well, not this time my friends, but death is a part of this life, I acknowledge that now.

I head back down the trail. I notice another red tail hawk flying 10 yards below me magnificent. I stop again to be with her still soaring. I look down at my feet again and a 2 inch bright green caterpillar, with red and yellow and black markings and a little flag on his butt, comes cruising by my foot. i have to laugh.

Crazy mamma nature, you are out in force this morning.

Thank you, thank you.

Teach Me Sun

Teach me sun how to shine my light on all.

trees and sun

I wish the best for you.  I have been fighting against reality for far too long.  I have wished things to be other that they are and caused nothing but grief, for myself and you and those around me.  I have been fighting to prove my point and my point is…?   dust in the mouth of change.  My opinion will wither with the passing of my body, but the sun will rise and rise again.

Teach me sun how to shine my light on all