One thing that I became aware of this morning, it is not the feelings that bog me down, it’s the resistance to them. Sometimes I get stuck, sometimes I don’t, but I have found that all feelings pass if I let them. ( And of course, I am often not aware of this reality when in the midst of ‘the mighty storm’). I have my waves of sadness, tsunamis of grief, ripples of anger; at myself, at other. I let myself feel the river, and then, if I really open up and feel it fully, like a river, these feeling pass, Feel it, breathe into, allow, love, oh yeah, here it is again, feel it, breathe, feel it again, let it pass through. Don’t try to dam or damn that river. There’s aliveness in that there flow.
Some one posted last week and said, “see, Nicki, it’s not so bad.”
Just for the record, I am not in torturous grief all my waking life. Well, it might appear that way at times…really it has been a wild ride, no doubt.
But it’s an amazing one. Yes, I have been amazed.
So where are you holding back your river? Where might you give yourself permission to feel, Where might you acknowledge your attempts, allow the seeming “failure”? Where are you getting mad at yourself for not getting it perfect? Where are you having judgements about your forward progress that sometimes seems like a backwards sally into the bottomless pit of dark and disastrous oblivion? Could you lighten up, just a little? Could you let yourself feel foolish, afraid, angry, whatever, feel that river, let it pass?
Today I give you permission to give yourself permission.
Go ahead, jump into that river; Feel. Open up those stagnant pools, open to the clear mountain stream you are.
Let The River flow.
And let me know if you’re ready to have support with this.
The wise one in me salutes the wise one in you.