The heat of summer
I am opening to its fullness
Breathing in the sensation of sun
as it rests on my skin,
falls in my hair,
penetrates my blinking eyes.
I am taking in the warmth.
I am stopping under trees.
Finding oasis in air conditioned halls and cars.
I appreciate the coolness of water over my body.
I am accepting this moment of summer unfolding
full of force and fire because it is.
What is this Joy?
Joy, how do you live in my body?
I feel my breath open and deep.
A tingling in my heart.
What is this expansiveness?
What is this sense of stillness, this all-pervasive calm?
This so easily letting go into this moment?
Why am I so blessed to come into your sweetness,
to stumble upon it so unexpectedly? How can I fully embrace you joy? How can I fully own that you are here, with me? Can I shamelessly acknowledge your presence in my life? Is that so hard? How could that ever be a bad thing? In this life filled with struggle and torment and toil, could there be a window open to a new world?
I acknowledge the possibility of you, joy, in my life.
Outside, the crows call, the world wakes. The sun peeks over the tree tops. Here comes the day, roaring and ready to go.
I wonder, how could this day be a new round of learning, of leaning into joy?
Joy, will you join me?
How could that be so? Continue reading
I woke up today with the idea of the mundane mystic; Infusing the sacred into the ordinary. How can we do that? When we get so busy, it’s easy to forget. The Honeysuckle Possums had a show last night in the valley and now we have a show today up north country. We’re very busy girls. I feel excited, yes. And I feel busy. Lots to do, lots of travel, interaction, organizing details, coordinating, etc., on top of an already full life.
I want to allow the wonderfulness of performing to not get in the way of my spaciousness. I believe that is not an impossible feat.
That’s why I love the breath so much. One breath and I feel different. Two breaths and I have landed, three breaths and I am a rock in the now (well, at least a pebble). Try it. Really give it a whirl and see how it changes you.
I’m going to work it today. You try it too if you want and notice what happens.
You’re rushing around, feeling overwhelmed or pushed…remember, oh yes, the breath…insert 3 full breathe…just take little breathing pauses while in the fray. Simple indeed. The puddle jump from busy to spaciousness.
Play with it.
Sometime life gets rocky.
Sometimes I take the long road home.
I let things slide, don’t speak up. I get small. I take the easy way out. I think someone else will say what I want to say. I procrastinate till ‘the right time’ (that for some reason, never comes)… And of course I just hope it will all just go away, blow away, skip and whirl away with the wind.
I forget that life is here for me. I forget in that moment that am here to grow and evolve. And that I have something to say, and that something is important. It’s my view- the world of Nicola. That when life gives me taps, it’s for my learning. I could so easily respond in that moment.
If I don’t listen, the little tiny tap just might turn into a sledgehammer. Or the internal pressure might build and I turn from a meek little mouse into an erupting volcano. All sorts of things can happen. And of course do.
I now recommit to owning my feelings. feeling them fully; I choose to listen for and to my intuition; speaking up when I have something to say.
Now I remember, oh yes, It’s a lot easier in the long run to be honest and true to myself and others. For some very good reason, they say, it’s the best policy. Amen brothers and sisters.
It’s time for me to recommit.
I feel perched between the two coasts; singing like a bird, and that bird might take flight to Rhode Island at any point. And It’s time to move again, darn. No hurry, but the little house will soon be rolling again, somewhere in Santa Barbara, some where wonderful (PM if you have inspiration on this).
I feel ungrounded, unclear and unsettled. I’m returning to my breath. Returning to writing and sharing with you all.
I commit and open to a world of abundance and ease, where I have all I want and need; no fear, no hoarding, no lacking. All is provided. I have land, quiet, spacious wilderness, I have community, I have the joy of giving my music and my presence, all my love, all my gifts; and then fully receiving the gifts of others. I commit again and again to that path. I open to the flow of that sweet harmony.
I wish this for you too, to be filled and overflowing. To feel your gifts and to own your beauty. That you easily and fully give of yourself to that which you love, and in doing the universe provides beyond your wildest dreams.
This I wish for you, me and the all beings.
Happy Independence Day to you.
Will you claim freedom today? How will you do that? What path will you choose this day? Will you make this day the day that you can look back and remember as the day you claimed your autonomy in some fashion?
What will you claim as yours today?
Today I claim freedom from negative self talk. I choose to love myself more fully. To notice when I’m getting down on me. Today I choose to talk to myself as a lover, a kind parent, a loving friend. I can be all that to me. Today I will go out of my way to cherish who I am. When I feel even slightly disconnected, I will love me. I realize I need to start there. Loving self. Otherwise there is no love to share with others. Continue reading
Update on Dad. He is well. I am calling and he is now answering the phone. Before, he couldn’t figure out how to use the new-fangled thang and it was rather difficult to reach him– I guess that was part of the reason for going out there, there were a lot of loose little ends flying in the wind; and of course some big ones too. I am managing parts of his life from across the country. He has lunches delivered, thank you angels. He has help coming in for a few hours a day. Lots of doctors appointments and friends helping. It is not ideal, but it is working for now.
I started my songwriting class last week. There were 6 people there. Three of the six had lost their dad in the past month. OMG. One person’s dad died a year ago. The other two had lost their dads many years ago. Crazy. I was the only one with a farther.
It gave me a sense of preciousness with my own father, but also really feeling into the way of this world, life and death. Everyone has their journey. Everyone has their stories, everyone experiences death. And everyone has a very unique and personal relation with this experience.
My intention is to consciously move through life and death with love, humor and grace. Sometimes I success wildly. Other times, no so much. I’m working on it.
So be it.
Be well, be whole, be love.