thank you

breathing in i feel love

breathing out i thank you

breathing in i feel love

breathing out i thank you

breathing in i feel love

breathing out i thank you

thank you

i love you

thank you

i love you

thank you

I love you

today

is the day

thank you

I love you

today is

thank you

I love you

today

breathing in i feel love

breathing out i thank you

searching again for pens

searching again  for pensScreenshot 2015-05-20 15.13.07

this is not a tidy life of straight lines and progress reports

rational sequence is a stranger to these wild days

there are papers across the floor

shirts flapping in the wind

colors splashed across the wall

skid marks on the cement

bless the mess

find the rest.

rest.

then crawl yourself out of your tidy corner

into the wild wind open sky unfettered abandon

searching for pens again

feel you way rather than think your way

feel you way rather than think your wayScreenshot 2015-05-19 07.54.16

feel the feeling
find your fondness
feel into that fondness
the skip of breath
the whirl of weight
the full fling of ferocious now

even now it dares dance to your every heartbeat
try as it might to be subtle, to tip toe, to not disturb your silly stupor
fondness can’t help but fly
with untidy smiling
it ignites the funful flury.

find your fondness
feel the feeling
feel into that whirling of being
the fulness flying
full fling ferocious now

Fun?

moving, moving

back into tiny home tiny tiny
boxes, boxes OMG boxesScreenshot 2015-05-15 16.57.04
everywhere, everywhere

the white Tara dances over it all..

You’d think I get used to this.
or better at it.
well, i am getting a little better at it,
but I AM getting better at opening to the chaos and knowing this too shall pass. I will get to order again.

Meanwhile fun might be hiding under a box around here somewhere…

pure love.

Mom’s birthday today.
Hello dear one. I see you now.
I send my heart out to fill the sky; the one who brought me into this world.
IMG_0159
Pure love.

you who were a writer, an activist, a teacher, a mom, a wife. you who had gentle and extraordinary love for students, family, humanity, all you met.  So much caring.
In humble peace the pieces all fit together now.

so much gratitude I feel now.
I know you did the best you could. I know what love is and isn’t from you; I love the process of owning that love and holding it in my heart to give back, to you and to all who have come before, all who come now.

I feel my ancestors now. They are there at my back. I turn to acknowledge them. I see you mom at the front, among them, shining, smiling, more present now than ever before.
Pure love. not clouded by need or fear.
Pure love, bright and shining like the sun that is shining on me.

Thank you mom for all you have given me.

Thank you mom for you.

all is well

all is well

breathe breathe breathe

that’s all i have to do today

run run run the beach

great blue heron takes flight with a fish in her mouthScreenshot 2015-05-12 12.48.45

fly fly fly

great bird

high to meet the cliff tops

riding the current

feeling the steady pulse of her vast wings in the air as she goes

all is as it should be

my mind might say other things

i breathe breathe breathe

the full air of spring clouds breaking into sunshine

All is well.

then there’s ease

get ready get set get ready get set get
getting stuff going here going there
getting this and that
practice practice
big show, big deal, big oooomg
big weekend
ready roger readier never ready enough…

and then
there’s
ease.
huh?

sometimes I remember
breathing is important more important most important

big breath in out

easy girl
easy

all goodrainy

ease
breathe.

easy if I let it
easy I
stop and
smell the
coffee,
the roses, the
breeze say hi
to
my friends the trees

ready, set,

ease.
.

frozen fear find a way

I awoke this morningIMG_0062
Frozen fear of falling off the edge of the earth.
flow no go i go slow
feel frozen
find a way find a way
i have nothing good to conjure
except that every question big and little is an open door to possibility.

One thing I do know
I know fog is upon the valley this morning
the fog feels forever right now
by afternoon, chances are it will be gone.

I throw my question into the valley
down with the coyotes and dry river bed.
the beauty of the bird song fills the air
I breathe you in and let you go.

seeing the good

Today is it my intention to see the good in what is before me.2014-10-16 17.28.40

The blue sky is easy to see the good in. Sometimes people, memories, circumstance crowd in and not so easy. This morning, in my duel home present convergence I looked in vain for my external hard drive. I felt freak out escalating. and then I stopped. Oh, this is not in keeping with my intention of the day…So. What’s good about this?   I noted to myself how wonderful it was that in even had a hard drive. That I knew what one was, that I have a computer, that I get to say hi to all you so easily, that the hard drive was somewhere, and even if it totally dissappeared, is life still something to smile about? indeed!…a cascade of gratefulness made me smile and then laugh and then laugh some more. oh, what I do!

Seeing the good in this moment is wonderful exercise of joyous momentum.