Science Projects

toasteroven

My dad doesn’t have the same measure of cleanliness that I do. I walk into his apartment and it feels so dirty to me. I ask him if he wants me to clean up ‘a bit’. He says, if it makes you happy, go ahead. Science projects at various stages in the refrigerator (you know, different color molds at different levels of bloom), the toaster oven is so caked you cant see the bagel toasting through the glass window.
Yesterday I tackled the refrigerator. Today, I cleaned the toaster oven. Yeay, I can see my bagel toasting (I never eat bagels, but when I come to NY, you know, it’s just in the air…). Makes me feel some weird level of accomplishment.
Dad say, you know, you just scrape of the mold, it’s good underneath. He retells the story of getting a much desired salami from his mom during WW2 (he was stationed in the Philippines). He threw it out because it was moldy; found out later that you can just cut off the mold and it’s great. He has lived his life with that philosophy ever since!
We all have such different rules we live by. Yes, cleaning his place makes me feel good. He’s fine with either way. I have all these beliefs about mold and grime, and he’s 91 and quite healthy. Maybe, like penicillin, it has helped him. And at this point, who am I to argue?

I think, I am doing this cleaning for him, and you know what? He enjoys that it floats my boat. Yes, it makes me feel better, and like I’m taking care of him somehow. He enjoys that I am here, whatever I am doing.

Why do you do what you do? It’s real helpful to get clear on intention.

I’m not going to spend all day cleaning ‘for his sake’-just a few hours ‘for my sake’ and enjoy the rest of the day hanging with him.

On to the cupboards tomorrow….

Crazy RAndom uNique

We are all love, we are all light.  Sometimes you see through the facade and see this, know it deep down. You see the connection and the web of life, our intertwining sacred dance.

On the other side of this, do you see the gift of your uniqueness?  2013-02-08 06.59.22

So often in songwriting class, since there are all levels of students, someone says, “do I have to go after THAT ?” (meaning that last person was so good, and I am so bad). Over and over again, we need the reminder, our uniqueness is just that, unique. Special. A treasure.

Continue reading

I Run By

 

wild cloudToday I woke up to a challenging day. People, places, stories, fill my dreams and wake me in the night.  Gladly I greet the coming of light in the sky.

I get up, go for a run.  As I feel my legs move I feel my cares falling away.  A world bigger than my little life, in my own tortured head.  I feel the earth, the sky the green, green grass.  Yes, there’s lots coming now from the blessed rain.   Continue reading

Safety

Safety.
Today, coming off the trail, there’s a dog to greet me about 20 feet over. He’s growling, and his hackle are up. I feel fear. Should I turn back? Should I run? Eeeekk!

I noticed my fears. Angry dog fears. I’ve been chased and attacked, but nothing close to fatal here. I also have experienced dogs’ amazing love. All this flashes through my head in a moment. So I breathe. I feel my feet. I relaxed into the safety of the earth and sent love. Then I think, hey, this is my road too, I gotta get home.dog

I do not run away, I do not back down, I move forward. He keeps his distance. I pass by, at about 10 feet, he allows passage. I don’t look back, resume forward momentum. All is well.

Just a little moment in life. But fear comes, safety is challenged, many times in a day. A little vignette, with a big message for me. Where is safety?

There is a lie we’ve been feed for eons: that it’s out there in these big things that we build a life around:
in money, a home, a relationship, a job, in the world as we know it.

What do you do for a fleeting moment of safety?
How much money do you need to feel safe?
How much love will be enough?
Do you find safety in relationship that is less than perfect?
In a job and paycheck that no longer serves you?
Staying in situations, mediocre or worse, just for a shred of safety?

I’m finding safety, but not where I thought it was. It is here in this moment, when I allow it. When I face into my fear, there it is, again and again: safety, on the inside. I find safety in my breath. I find it in connecting with the earth, the sky, to something much bigger than my own fears. Call it the Christ within, the Higher power, the love of mankind, call it love, call it being-ness. Safety is in the little moments, one after the other, there it is again, and there it is again.

I am aware that in life, if I run from a growling dog, he will chase me, if I back down, I cannot get where I want to go.

Know thyself. Move forward.
Safety is an moment to moment willingness.
A willingness to be.
Simply be.

Arm-wrestling with Reality

Sometimes I try to arm-wrestle life into submission, but I have found the solstice monsterprice is my own peace and sanity. Every action taken in that duality has a reaction, repercussions. You arm wrestle life, it arm-wrestles you back.

Action taken from knowing and grounded being just furthers the energy of grounded being-ness and connection with the universal spirit.

Today I release my need for life to be other than it is. Today I celebrate today. Continue reading

Potato Chip Musings

Susan loves potato chips. They’ve been on my verboten list for years, eons in fact. Well, there they were. I had just one.  Then, you know how it goes, I couldn’t have just one. I had another.  Oooh so crunchy and salty and so greasy…Heaven!

potato chipI Thought about them off and on for a few weeks after.  I then went out and bought a bag.  Over the next few days, I ate the whole bag. No, not the bag silly, the potato chips inside it.

I awaken the potato chip monster inside me; more, more more,

that i ALL I want!   Continue reading

Prince Charming and Fair Maiden

Screenshot 2014-04-01 07.10.33Ok I’m still looking for prince charming.

I have found him a few times, for a few moments…wait…what?

Where did he go?

Hey!

 

Okay, I’m still looking.

I know he’s coming. On a big white horse no doubt.

He’s gonna sweep me off my feet.

There we merge together in ecstatic love.

We ride happily ever after into the sunset

The end.  Continue reading

Doing and Being

possumsingfun

 

The music for the new Honeysuckle Possum CD is mixed. The art work is going in this week. mastering this week. Paper work and forms shuffling here and there. It’s like birthing a baby. So much prep, so much care. Then ultimately, when it’s time, just gotta let go and let it happen. I am thrilled, exhausted, bonded with my fellow possum peoples, excited. Now, I’m sitting here watching the clouds roll by and the wind in the trees.

I encourage you to go for what you want. Give it all you have. Then sit back and feel the excitement of being. It’s good to have a balance. Doing, being, doing, being….

Hurray for both. sometimes I forget in this do do do world.

Let us be
and let that be enough.